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Thursday, December 5, 2013

Nelson Mandela - A Light Who Continues to Shine

Nelson Mandela July 18, 1918 - December 6, 2013

"I am not a saint, unless you define a saint a sinner who keeps on trying" Nelson Mandela


It is not often a truly exquisite, courageous soul embodies on this planet.  And when one does, their impact is felt long after they leave.  Their iridescent waves of impact bathe all, leaving no grains of sand untouched. We feel their impact, but not their loss because they live on.  

I need not write eloquent words of tribute for I feel in my heart his essence as part of myself.  This essence continues through each and every one of us as we open to and fulfill our potential.  Nelson Mandela certainly achieved and exceeded his potential.  We honor him as we springboard off the anchor of truth he set.  The voice of our moral compass guides the way if only we will listen.  It is not a loud, overbearing voice, but it is strong.

His life and work leave a legacy of more than breadcrumbs to follow.  His memory belongs to each of us.

"He no longer belongs to us - he belongs to the ages, he took history in his hands and bent the arc of the moral universe towards justice."  -  President Barack Obama


On this day of his death, I light a candle in his memory and know that the arc will continue to bend as each and every one of us picks up his mantle and keeps on trying.







Monday, October 28, 2013

Moonbird - The Tragedy of Extinction and Inspiration of the Miracle



A friend gave me a lovely book by Phillip Hoose, entitled "Moonbird, A Year on the Wind with the Great Survivor B95."  Moonbird is pictured here.










B95 is a rufa red knot.  Scientists call him the Moonbird because, in the course of his long lifetime, the robin-sized shorebird has flown the distance to the moon and halfway back.  Each February he and his flock leave from Tierra del Fuego in Argentina, and head for the Canadian Arctic, nine thousand miles away.  In late summer, they begin the return journey.

B95 can fly for days, but eventually he descends to refuel and rest.  Recent changes at stopover sites along his migratory circuit, changes caused mostly by human activity, have reduced the food available and made it harder for the birds to reach.

During B95's lifetime, the rufa population has been reduced by 80 percent.  This bird is now 20 years old, and scientists are puzzled about how this one bird makes it year after year when so many others fail.

As I read the book, and enjoyed the beautiful pictures, I found my heart sinking as I contemplated the demise of the shorebirds due to loss of habitat, and at the same time I was  inspired by this little B95 creature. For twenty years he has continued his steady habits that have made him the most successful of all known living shorebirds, finding his sacred places and enduring as the eldest of his tribe, "the ultimate citizen of the wind."  His story is about a vanishing breed and one amazing, tireless survivor.

Perhaps the vanishing rufa species, along with the thousands of species vanishing each year portends the fate of the human species. A human frailty is that we take for granted that our survival is assured.  The luxury of this belief is over, and it is time that we pull our heads out of the sand and wake up to conscious survival.

What is conscious survival?   B95 leaves breadcrumbs of information about conscious survival. His story inspires us to shore up our elder within, find our sacred place and live the best we can as ultimate citizens of the earth.  The Moonbird rises to tell us about ourselves.

For more information go to http://philliphoose.com/tag/friends-of-the-red-knot/

Play with Matrix #45 as you hold the focus of being an ultimate citizen of the earth.














Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Guest Blogger - Embracing Our Vulnerability

With Gratitude - Elaine K. Williams


In the last few months, I have thought a lot about what it takes to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to feel our vulnerability.  So much so, I have even found myself talking about vulnerability with my training audiences and retreat participants. I am noticing I am beginning to view vulnerability from a place of strength and not weakness. The term itself is defined by Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary as "weak and easily hurt physically or emotionally."

Yet, both personally and professionally, I believe that being aware of my vulnerability offers me the opportunity to know my authentic self. To acknowledge it, and not hide it from others takes strength. It also requires I am sufficiently secure within myself to manage it, to trust that my vulnerability is a place from which I can grow and gain wisdom. It is also a place from which I can connect deeply to others.

I have noticed for a long time now, that people don’t really connect in any deep way when they are in their perceived strengths. Their confidence, if not over-confidence, often leads to competition between them and interactions that are intellectual in nature. Whereas, when we are vulnerable and willing to acknowledge this place within ourselves, our connection is a ‘heart’ connection. It is an empathic connection, and the moment that happens it strengthens everyone involved…it allows everyone to simply ‘be!’

When I do not defend being vulnerable, I have all of my energy available to cope with it in a healthy way. When I defend by hiding, blaming, pretending, withdrawing, being aggressive, I put on a mask that says, “don’t see me, I am vulnerable right now!” That defense requires a lot of our energy and so it drains us. We put so much into ‘masking’ our vulnerability, we have little energy left to deal with it openly and from a place of self-love. What’s worse, it causes us to dis-connect from ourselves, and when we do that we have superficial relationships with others.

Disconnecting from our vulnerability also causes us to disconnect from the natural world. This is evidenced in the decisions we are making which negatively impact the balance of life on this planet.  Disconnected from our true selves, we create illusions and distortions and we delude ourselves by believing our decisions don’t affect anyone or anything else, including the Earth. Yet they do! We are all in a constant state of influencing and being influenced by each other. Experiencing our vulnerability fosters compassion and connection to each other and to the natural world. Authenticity is the solution not the threat!

So, embracing vulnerability can elicit self-love and self-care, and so it strengthens us and supports our authenticity. I urge you to observe yourself when you feel vulnerable. If you have a tendency to mask it, tune into your self-awareness and offer yourself a new thought and so, a new choice to greet it with openness and love. Your gift will be a keen sense of wholeness and well-being!


See the link to Elaine's blog at the right side of the blogsite.  Enjoy!

Monday, August 19, 2013

Matrix Magic Playbook Tip - Begin


What remains unconscious will blindside you, what is brought conscious sets you free. Play with the Matrix Magic Playbook to assist in personal revelation.  The deeper you wish to go, the deeper it will take you.  It only works if you begin.


An incredible mushroom pops out from the dark

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Star Trek, The Traveler, and our Quantum Mission

Traveler in Main Engineering, remastered
Star Trek's, The Traveler



The Traveler in 2364
I have always been a Star Trek fan.  As a kid, I watched the original series, which began in 1966.  The original shows remain my favorite, hokey as I now think they are.  I adjusted as the series evolved to The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, 12  movies, and most recently movie number 13, Into the Darkness.   Even kids that did not grow up trekkies will enjoy the antics of the young crew.  It was terrific fun!

Screenwriter and visionary Gene Rodenberry wove into plots and characters, clues about the evolution of consciousness.

One of the characters was "The Traveler."  The Traveler, whose real name was unpronounceable by Humans, was a mysterious humanoid who had the ability to alter space, time and warp fields with the power of his mind.  He could phase out of time and dimension and move between planets and star ships.  These abilities were based on his ability to focus the energy of thoughts and in his advanced understanding of the nature of reality.  Sounds quantum to me.

According to The Traveler, thought was the basis of all reality.  Read more about The Traveler at this link:

http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/The_Traveler

In one of the episodes, the traveler, the crew and the ship were at the edge of the universe, their demise imminent. In a desperate attempt to save the ship and crew, the captain asked the crew to focus on their duty and apply all their thoughts towards the well being of the traveler.  Each crew member did their duty while they focused on the traveler, who after considerable effort, got them back to safety.

The episode reminds me of where we are today.  Perhaps we are facing imminent demise, or perhaps we have an opportunity to go where no one has gone before.  We are unsure about what may occur.  Either way many of us are aware a shift is happening.  We may be wondering how to steer the ship.   I prefer to steer not towards the final frontier, but towards ever-expanding possibility.  An inquisitive mind and a researcher's curiosity leads me to contemplate the faculties of consciousness and lifestyle to adopt and adapt in order to stay on course.

Here are two.  

#1  Focus on duty.

Duty means to methodically focus on the act of survival, as we apply a focus on our unique gifts and talents. Duty necessitates each of us cultivate commitment and discipline to what these gifts are and to live our unique beingness.  As we chop wood and carry water we contribute to society.  We must own and utilize our unique gifts.

However, we seem unwilling to own our unique gifts and talent.  We denigrate ourselves and will do anything not to stand out.  We give lip service to "finding ourselves" and living our "Truth," whatever that means.  Why do we stop ourselves from truly acknowledging, accepting, and integrating our unique selves? We do so because we are afraid of other's jealousy or we don't try because we think we have to be the best.  We must be perfect.  This leads to acting from inadequacy and insecurity, instead of acting from strength of self.

#2  Hold a focus for well being for human, for humanness, for humanity and for ourselves as humans as dearly loved beings. 

This is difficult for us as we see ourselves as being separate from each other. We act from separation  and we have issues with being human.  We do our best to get out of rather than to embrace the body,  its splendor and its idiosyncrasies.  We must embrace the gorgeous beings we are if we are to discontinue our separating behavior and wake up to recognize heaven is on earth.  We are magnificent, warts and all.  To believe otherwise is our narcissistic attempt to remain small and deflect responsibility.

This is not to condone the atrocities of human propagation, but rather to support a change in our conscious perspective.

The Star Trek crew members accepted  their respective gifts, and responsibly applied them towards their duty. They collectively focused upon the Traveler's well-being.  They made it home.

Will we?

Play with Matrices #42, #7, #11, #17, #27, #29, #50

I thank one of my enlightened colleagues for giving me the idea for this post.










Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Believe and Birth - Guest Blogger


Soul-Trees drawn by: Allyson Williams - Yee

www.Soul-Trees.com


Allyson is an artist and intuitive. She combines her passions for creating art and connecting it to Spirit in her Soul Trees work. She created Soul Trees to inspire each of us on our individual journeys. If you would like to order your own Soul-Tree go to her website.

Allyson writes:

"This was a particularly challenging week for me. I was not feeling inspired to write, however, I decided to because I had a feeling it might help me feel better. For a little guidance, I pulled two cards from a deck I created called, The Wisdom of Soul Trees. The messages I pulled were Believe and Birth-New Arrival. 


I immediately made a connection between the messages on the cards.  Energetically, I feel like I am clearing out old junk to make room to Birth something New. I do Believe that something better is on its way and this brings me comfort, but I am feeling impatient as well. 


Although my higher mind Believes, my ego has done some complaining. Just when I am feeling like my dreams are beginning to take shape, I had a week that felt like things turned themselves upside-down. My Higher Self was plugged into my internal confidence and whispered this to me all week, but my loud, human ego voice was walking around the house saying, "what does this all mean, what the heck is going on here?" 


This is the exact time to Believe in the loving, encouraging voice I hear from my higher self and quiet the ego/fear based voice that is afraid of what else may be thrown at me. I am sure that once I truly embrace the loving voice and release the ego's voice, I will find that things around me will settle down, allowing the Birthing process to continue to move me forward.


Hmm... I am having an "Aha!" moment, as I write this. I recalled while walking this pas Monday how both of my pregnancies and deliveries of my children have been the best moments of my life. I loved being pregnant, and although I feared the labor and delivery process, I was able to get through them just as I intended, without medication. I felt proud of myself, as I realized I am strong when I believe deeply in my intention. My conviction and belief helped me manage the pain and discomfort of labor and my gifts are my two wonderful children.


Pregnancy and Birth are incredible processes. The way a baby develops in the womb, in a relatively short amount of time, without us having to do anything but take care of ourselves during the pregnancy is a miracle! It is the same way when we Birth new things in our lives. There are things happening in our favor that we cannot see or control; we cannot see how our potential is getting ready to bloom. And we will go through some amount of discomfort to make room for new opportunities because we are learning and growing, and letting go!


It is interesting to me now, to remember on Monday I was actually thinking about Birth. I went on to have a difficult week and now at the end of the week, I pulled these two cards from my Soul Trees deck which validated my Intuition and Highest knowing. Yes, I do Believe something greater than myself is working in my favor, preparing me for a Birth-New Arrival within me and my life. I am grateful for this insight and the "Aha" moment!


I feel better already!"














Quantum Neutrality and Prejudice

1prej·u·dice

I was standing in an R.V. campground having a casual conversation with four other people.  For anyone who has had the R.V. campground experience, you know that strangers often cluster together to meet.  I have met many people from all over the country in these campground chats.

On this particular day, there was a break from back-to-back days of rainy weather, and those with cabin fever were out stretching our legs.  This is how I happened to become engaged in conversation.   The five of us exchanged pleasantries about travel locations, which led to a discussion of oil prices, which led to a discussion about politics, which led to two of the men making racist comments in an unkind fashion about our country's leader.

Now, I have long since learned not to engage in political discussions.  I really don't care about a person's political persuasion, much like I don't care about their religious affiliations.  I try my best to give everyone the right to their opinions without adding my judgement.

But on this day, in that sunny, beautiful spot in the Colorado mountains, the racist remarks caught me off guard.  My mouth dropped open, I excused myself, turned on my heels, and  hastened back to my site. Flabbergasted, I went through mental gyrations all of which ended up with "what fu......ing morons."  It was sobering to be reminded that people still think this way.  I can be a bit naive.

Then it hit me.  I was prejudiced about their prejudices.  "What a conundrum, and what do I do about this?" As I usually do once I come to my senses, I recognized this as an opportunity for clarity into my own hot buttons and greater resolve.

Humans are naturally prejudiced.  We select red over blue, chocolate over vanilla, snow over sun, and the list goes on.  Any time we prefer one thing over another, we are prejudiced.   A prejudice is a preconceived opinion not based upon reason or experience, and is a natural part of being human.  It is a neutrally based isness.

In 1954, American psychologist, Gordon Allport, linked prejudice and categorical thinking.  Allport claims prejudice is in part a normal process for humans.  According to him, The human mind must think with the aid of categories...Once formed categories are the basis for normal prejudgment.  We cannot possibly avoid this process.  Orderly living depends upon it."

However,  when we act out our prejudices in violence of action or energy towards another "being prejudice" becomes an issue. To have prejudice vs. to be prejudiced are two entirely different perspectives.  The first is a natural part of being human, the second is allowing a falsehood into our core of beingness.  We become the prejudice.  Yikes!  That hurts!

The falsehood creates illusion about who and what we are.  We judge and separate from each other,  finding ways to feel better by making ourselves superior.  At the extreme, the acting out of prejudice and judgment becomes violence and intolerance.  Prejudice is actually self-abuse and our own suffering is the end result.

So how do we change our perspective and heal this cycle of self-abuse?

I was very clear on this warm sunny day in the Colorado mountains that I was not going to change the opinions of those in my company.  It was not mine to delve into why these people felt the way they did.  I suspect if I dove deep enough, I would find at their core a bundle of wounding and  personal suffering.  They simply were not conscious.  On this day, I chose not to engage but rather to remove myself from the situation.

Next, I cut myself some slack and acknowledged my own prejudice about their prejudice.  I allowed myself to feel my feelings.  If we do not allow our feelings, they will come out sideways and it will be impossible to hold a true state of neutrality.  Our ability to hold a state of neutrality places us in zero point, where quantum possibility resides.

My feelings, truly felt, naturally relaxed into a more neutral state.  I forgave myself and the situation, re-framing while holding the possibility for a quantum shift into a non-racist world.

Playbook Tip:  When you find yourself "being prejudiced," name the prejudice and take your playbook out of the closet. Dust it off.  Hold the prejudice in your mind as you randomly open the book to a matrix.  Do three rounds with the matrix.  You will be amazed what happens to the prejudice. Remember to complete the "make a difference" step.















Monday, August 12, 2013

Conscious Business Practice

Matrix Magic Playbook Tip - Create Business Success


In my post of August 12, 2013, I posited that the rules for business are changing.  Old paradigms based upon the "survival of the fittest model" are passe' and businesses stuck in this model are breaking apart. Something new is emerging.  Business and career success now and in the future will go to those who employ new ethics of cooperation, collaboration, compromise and altruistic intent.

To shift your consciousness and align with new earth business values play with Matrices #27, #14, #32, #11, #9, #27, #45, #5

If you would like to purchase a Playbook, go to www.matrixmagicplaybook.com

Sunday, August 11, 2013

My Apologies to the Exotics - Python Kills Boys In Canada


Albino Patternless Burmese Python


Seems I am as of late sending many apologies to the non-human world.  One of the ways I apologize is to monitor my own behavior towards the natural world.  Sometimes I say prayers, sometimes I write.  Here is my latest form of apology to the python and exotic creatures, most recently prompted by the deaths of two Canadian boys, killed by a python.

My heart goes out to the two brothers in Canada who were killed by an escaped 14 foot python as they slept at a friend's house above a pet shop.  My heart also goes out to the python, who was euthanized after the incident.

The snake was apparently being kept as a pet in the apartment where the boys were sleeping.   It broke free from its glass tank and fell through the ceiling into the living room.  An event such as this is tragic for all concerned.  1,000 people reportedly attended a vigil for the boys.  I wonder if anyone thought to say a prayer for the python.

I am not making light the death of two young children.  There is no way to rationalize this kind of tragedy. But let's face it, until we wake up and respect the rights of all creatures and leave exotic animals where they belong, in their own habitat, these kinds of tragedies will occur.

Pythons are found in sub-Saharan Africa, Nepal, India, Burma, southern China, Southeast Asia from the Philippines southeast through Indonesia to New Guinea and Australia.  And in a private home above an exotic pet store in Canada.  They will generally not attack humans unless startled or provoked.

Young, wild animals may seem cute or interesting, but as they get bigger and stronger, the stress of living in an unnatural environment can cause these animals to lash out at people, especially small children.

I visited a wolf sanctuary in New Mexico where the rescue staff explained that people adopt wolves as pets when there are small, but as they grow, their wild natures prevail, and they are dumped at the side of the road, left to starve.

Exotic pet trade is estimated to be a 10 billion dollar/year industry and growing. Siberian tigers, African rhinos, Australian parrots, all kinds of monkeys, apes and other primates - even insects, piranhas, lungfish, and poisonous reptiles are all part of the burgeoning trade in exotic animals.   The two countries often cited for trade in animals are the United States and China.

Over 37 million individual birds, amphibians, mammals and reptiles from 163 countries were legally imported into the United States from 2000 - 2004.  America is responsible for about 1/3 of the trade in exotic animals. These figures are staggering and this is not even accounting for what is happening in illegal trade in the worldwide markets.

Thousands of animals die in the field after coveted body parts are chopped off with knives or chainsaws, and thousands more die while being transported in tiny cages, inside spare tires, or plastic tubes, stuffed into storage containers with hidden compartments.  Some exotic animals are lucky enough to go to professionally managed zoos, (if you consider that lucky) while others end up at medical research labs hunting ranches, roadside attractions, petting zoos, circuses, breeding mills, pet stores or slaughterhouses.

There are legal auctions held across the United States for exotic pet buyers, but the Internet has become the leading place for people to buy exotic animals.  All you need to purchase one is a credit card.  In a few days a tiger, or giraffe can be delivered to your door.

Many species are becoming endangered or extinct due to exotic animal trade.  Asian bears, rhinoceroses, elephants and tigers, to name a few are being traded, or slaughtered and soon may disappear.

What can you do to stop or discourage the trade in exotic animals?  Don't buy one.  Don't patronize any store or website that sells merchandise like jewelry made from exotic animal teeth, bones, feathers or fur.  Avoid attractions where they are on display.  Get active with groups like the ASPCA and be aware of support laws that would limit or ban the trade in, or possession of, any exotic animal or exotic pet.

I chose to write this blog, prompted by the death of the two young Canadian boys.  I feel for them and their families.  I hope their deaths will not be in vain, and will highlight what is happening in the exotic pet trade.  I also feel for the python who had little say in the matter.  He was just being a python.  My apologies to you, dear snake.

I must confess that years ago I traveled to a Colorado mountain town where a local store handled all kinds of exotic animal parts. Each year when I visited, I purchased many of these parts.  I look back on these purchases and I cringe.  I can't believe that I was an exotic animal part consumer.  Finally one year, something inside myself prompted me to ask the store owner where he obtained the parts.  He stammered and said, "oh I get them from a friend of mine back east that hunts them."

That was my last trip into the store, and this article is my attempt to make amends for my own unconscious consumerism.  I have forgiven myself and moved on, and now I send an apology to the exotics on behalf of humanity, and commit again to monitor my own destructive behavior and interactions with the natural world.





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Business Collaboration in New Earth

Recently I enjoyed the experience of working with a colleague, Elaine,  to exchange web links.  She is a lovely person, who is working to bring support to grandparents raising grandchildren.  She writes a blog about topics I consider to be important to our conscious evolution.  And I like and respect her and her work.  She is a person who exemplifies in her manner, a "new-earth" way of supporting each other in business ventures.

Over the course of two days in e- mail exchanges, I could feel the creative process occurring between she and I.   Neither of us were competitive, but rather supportively engaged with each other.  Our exchanges flowed, and we arrived at an outcome that was good because of the way we had interacted.  I overlaid our experience on my business style of  20 years ago when I was a corporate executive.

Recently I was reminded about my old style when  I was at a backyard barbecue, speaking with a consultant to the health care system.  He was telling the story about how he spent his week traveling to another city to purposely take down a competitor.  His languaging made it sound like he just got back from Iraq.  It made me shudder.

I considered telling him I thought he was in idiot, but came to my senses and instead put forward a prayer towards awakening business practices.  The old business paradigm of competition and survival of the cutthroat will, in my opinion, not be supported as humanity continues on its spiritual evolution.

I could, however, relate to him from my past experience as a  corporate executive in the financial services industry.  I was a bankster. I had an incredible business career, filled with many interesting experiences, travel, challenges, and upwardly mobile opportunities.  Rather quickly, I rose into upper management, promoted to a vice president.  Unheard of for a young woman sprout.  I learned how to fit in and espouse the company line. I glided into a corporate career of which I was proud.  My second family were my co-workers, and we enjoyed the mutual goals of making "the bank" bigger, better, and more profitable.  These goals were rewarded with promotions, salaries (sort of) and perks.

I can honestly say my goal was not one of collaboration, but rather, one of competition.  I excelled at the challenge.   My years of experience formed a solid backbone in the workings of corporate culture.  I  had become known as "Atila the Hun" in management and, by God, I had worked hard.

Eventually I came to my senses, and I left banking in the early '90's, just before mergers and acquisitions caught fire, and before I burned out.  Fortunately, the call of the soul doesn't pass by the most asleep, and also fortunately, I heard the siren of awakening.  A crash into awakening and many years later down the road, I appreciate the breakdown that is occuring in the financial services industry.  It needed to happen. The old paradigm in which I excelled is crumbling.  Something new is emerging.

I believe those who will be successful in business over the years to come will be those who hear the call of their soul and awaken into building business based in caring, sharing, cooperation, collaboration, and compromise.  Creating a new world economy based upon these principles is our new earth challenge.  That's the big picture.  At the microcosm level, it begins by two women having a pleasant exchange, anchoring ourselves in spirit and supporting each other's ideas, principles and business goals.

 I hope we all will do our part.

See the link to Elaine's site under "Light Links" on the right side of my blog.


Saturday, July 13, 2013

Self Sacrifice Has No Place Living as A Quantum Awakening Person

"What usually has the strongest psychic effect on the child is the life which the parents...have not yet lived."

    Carl Jung


As a child, I watched how my parents lived their lives.  They both worked hard, barely made ends meet, and over and over again sacrificed to someone or something else.  They gave themselves away to each other, to their culture, to their work, to their bills, and to me.  They are both gone now, and as I reflect, I see their lives were not without accomplishment or growth. Indeed, I think they did their growth work in their own way. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not.

When they passed I believe they transitioned better people.  However, I do not believe either lived their true potential.   They lived a potential, but perhaps not their truest, most fulfilling potential.

They probably watched their parents sacrifice, who watched theirs, and theirs before them. For generations we have lived the way of self-sacrifice.  I followed the road map of should and self-sacrifice for many years.  I followed these until the quantum waved its flag toward my attention and I learned there is a truer way of being. A way that is beneficial to everyone, myself included.

Sacrifice is a loss of something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause.  Parents sacrifice time and sleep to take care of their children.   The sacrifices made as parents are gladly given in order to do the best for our children.  That's a good thing.  And everyone makes sacrifices for others in many ways.  If sacrifice is rooted in caring, sharing, and comes from a balanced center the outcome is beneficial..  We have, however, given ourselves over to the vagaries of self-sacrifice. We are out of balance and  have lost who we truly are.

When we lose ourselves, we begin to feel inadequate and insecure.  Our self-esteem chips away, and we try to find ways to compensate.  We sacrifice ourselves to the "Gods" of drink, drugs, self flagellation, even to divine beings.  We go to church, take communion, do penance, pay karma, volunteer when we need rest, all to appease whatever our "god" happens to be.  Anything to "find" fulfillment, and to fill the hole.  We will never be whole by trying to fill the hole.

If we are ever to dig ourselves out from the hole of self-deception and reside in the wholeness of our self,  the paradigm of self-sacrifice needs to shift to a paradigm of true self love.  Fulfillment occurs when we live from a balanced, loving center, being fully human and fully divine.   It doesn't mean we are perfect.   Trying to be perfect is just another form of sacrificing ourselves to some standard outside ourselves, a standard which is based in familial and cultural agenda.

Our family and western culture tells us we are selfish if we love ourselves.  This is a form of control based upon a narcissistic definition of self love and  is not a quantum, universally based definition.  The self-love to which I refer arises naturally as we shed our self-distortions and occurs when we do our personal work, preferably with consciousness..

I feel the truth in Carl Jung's quote cited above.  My parent's influence came not so much from what they did, but from what they didn't do.  In gratitude, my attempt to live differently is my gift back to them.   Pass it along.

The Playbook facilitates a process which will help you release your self-distortions.  Think of a situation or a person to which you feel you are giving yourself away.  Self-select a matrix and follow the process outlined for that matrix.  Notice if there is a change. 

Remember to do the "Make a Difference" step outlined for each matrix with which you play.


A cool tip is that self love is natural in play.  It is not natural in stress.

If you have comments to share regarding this post, please do so.  Your thoughtful comments and dialogue benefit everyone.

I do reserve the right to edit and approve submitted comments.



Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Quantum Applecart



A number of years ago, upon awakening into the quantum world, I began making life decisions, many of which were not the most popular decisions on the block.  As I made decisions that undid my falsely constructed world of self, more and more I fell out of popularity with the upwardly mobile, normal crowd.

I remember having a Tarot reading at that time.  I selected a card with a picture of people inside a church window looking out on the street at the poor beggars who were out in the cold.  The tarot reader told me this is the way people viewed me, as being out in the cold.  I felt a combination of anger and not giving a crap all at the same time.  The conformist," fit-in-girl" within didn't like being out in the cold, but the rebel within me was complimented by being an outcast.

Twenty plus years have passed and the memory of upsetting the apple cart still is with me.  However, I have had 20 years to watch how the decision to answer the quantum call has unfolded into an awakened life of grace.  Not always ease, but grace indeed.  I wouldn't change my decision to jump into the quantum soup.  Now I would guess the people around me who were affected by my decisions along the way recognize how I and they have benefited.  Some probably still view me as being out in the cold.  I pray for them.

It takes guts to answer the call and upset the apple cart.  But when the quantum gets our attention and takes hold, life will change.  Why?  Because you will change.  How?  You will become less and less who you think you are and more and more you will become who you really are.  That's the Truth.

But here's the catch.  The truer you become to yourself, other's around you will be forced to look at who they are.  Or not.  In any event, you will upset the proverbial apple cart of complacent everyday life.  It isn't the most popular consensus reality choice to make.  But then the quantum world doesn't jive with consensus reality.

Fortunately there are brave souls out there who mean to change that.  Will you be one of them?  To me there is only one choice to make and that is the choice to be uniquely who you are.  It is an incredible, beautiful thing when someone is willing to be exactly who they are.  I'd love to throw a party to celebrate that!

Cynthia Torp, Director of The One World Puja Network said it well.  "...to all of you who are not trying to be like everyone else, who know what it means to conform - and aren't interested, who follow your own unique spirit or calling, who are willing  to be uniquely different on this planet - I celebrate you.  I thank you sincerely for daring to be different!  Thank you for knowing that you can only make a difference by being uniquely who you are.  Thank you for showing the world that so much more is possible than most imagine."

Now that is quantum!  Cheers!

Ask yourself the question, "am I a quantum apple cart up setter?"  Then take out your Playbook and see which matrices show up to answer your question.


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Healing and Love Come From Many Sources - Guest Blogger

A recent playgroup participant shared her experience about healing.  I share it with you.


Written by:  Cindy K.

Healing and  Love Come From Many Sources
Animals have been a catalyst for my healing, as my life in the past taught me to trust humans very little.
Horses walked into my life and taught me freedom  to walk away from an unhappy marriage and a controlling religion. It took me a while to realize how it all happened, but on looking back, there was a direct connection with the horses. I had never felt so light, free and happy when with these new animals that were brought to me  at midlife.
As I expanded my experience of massage to include equine massage, my continued work with horses taught me their energy merges with ours and they indeed help to release our personal negativge energy, explaining why humans feel so positive around them. Their use in therapy for disabled and dysfunctional people has exploded on the scene in the last ten years, now that this has been researched and utilized..
A friend widened my area of understanding about animals when he suggested I read Ted Andrews book "Animal Speak" wherein he talks about the different energies, messages and wisdom that comes from various species.  It took me a while to apply what was being taught, but I finally found myself looking for the messge behind an animal that I didn't normally see in my area or being presented in an unusual fashion.
One day I was walking to my mailbox and I noticed a dead cardinal in my path.  I got a stick and moved it into the large neighboring pasture about 30' away in the tall grass.  The next day I went to the mailbox and saw the exact same bird in the same place.  I couldnt believe it was the same bird so I walked over into the pasture and searched diligently, to no avail.  I then researched in the Ted Andrew's book and found the information in the last paragraph about cardinals...." you may want to connect further with some religious part of your life that is missing, as the cardinal can reflect on the cardinals in Catholicism".  However. this was a DEAD cardinal, so I looked at it as a confirmation that leaving my church was being wise for me.  (I had been dealing with some emotional issues concerning that very subject).
Then one day a bald eagle flew into my backyard and landed in my tree. WOW,, nothing more regal and demanding of attention than that. I barely breathed as I looked up at him, thanking him for coming into my yard and bringing me a powerful message. After he left, I looked up the information and trusted my inner 'knowing' to connect with the applicable message for me. I was greatly honored.
Sitting on the front porch swing at dawn with a cup of coffee. a heron flies low in front of me. I was appreciative but didnt really acknowledge the message until the third one flew in front of me.  The becoming aware, noticing and acknowledging the power behind the message is truly powerful.
A bobcat at dusk,,, an owl hooting in the distance,,,or an elephant coming to me in a dream are all messages'
About a month ago I entered my library and noticed that the belt on the floor wasn't actually a belt but a six foot snake that was stationary.  Startled, I backed up quickly and he went behind a piece of furniture.  A harnless black snake, I asked a neighbor to gently remove him to the barn to safely care for poisonous snakes out there.  Looking up the information, it stated that I was now ready to shed my old skin, making way for new, healthy environment. I really liked that as I was questioning some challenges along those lines.
Last week during my daughter's visit, I stepped onto my enclosed back porch to see thousands of ants streaming in two separate paths,, one going east and one going west.  I was startled because I had never seen an ant inside my home before.  Now there were thousands. At first I thought of getting the wasp spray (which I use for fiddle back spiders who are very poisonous here in Okla) but then I stopped and wondered if there could be a message for me.  I got Ted's book and found a very important piece of the puzzle for me.  After reading it, I went back to the porch and thanked the ants for the message, appreciating their presence and blessing them and then stating that it was alright for them to leave.  Twenty minutes later they were completely gone.  Both my daughter and I were astounded with the whole experience.
Being aware and open to new experiences has been a tremendous blessing in my life and rather than fear or doubt something, I research and see what applies to me.  I have always been connected to animals but had no idea that they could open our souls and give us a whole new life, when we are ready.It just further confirms my new belief that we are all one, all connected, all loving.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Expanding Quantum Consciousness

The greatest fear we have is not that we will go broke, loose our job, loose our mate, loose our home, and the list goes on....The greatest fear we have is the fear of life and truly being ourselves.  At first glance you may say, "well, that is ridiculous, of course I want to be myself."  Well I can tell you that in the many years of working with hundreds of people, whatever fear someone brought through my door, when distilled, was the fear of personal greatness and the knowing of oneself as a truly powerful being.  I witnessed people making up all kinds of stories in order to maintain their comfortable fear-based perspective.

Ironic that we would be afraid to be ourselves.  We have made our ego bigger than life and now the ego runs the show.  Our ego chooses to maintain the fear-based stories and becomes the powerful director of our choice.  Choices are made to support our fear.

If we understand that our choices are powerfully catalytic, we would be careful about making them.  We have lost the knowing of the true power of our choice.  Expanding into quantum consciousness necessitates we remember this truth.  We must know the power of our choice is as potent as the sun's energy.  We are an immense spirit.

We need examples of this truth.  And one example is demonstrated in Anita Moorjani's story of her near-death experience.  Ms. Moorjani was at death's door, at the end of a three-year battle with cancer.  Dying, she had a near-death experience, came back, and her cancer was gone.  She recounts her experience in this delightful You Tube interview.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWf8V1PXN-k&feature=fvwp&NR=1

The title of her newly-released book is "Dying to Be Me".  Check it out.

When you awaken to the power of your choice, you will begin to make different choices and your life will get better.

Play with Matrices #10, #25, #14, #27, #35




Sunday, May 19, 2013

Quantum Consciousness - Where to Start


World behind the world

My first experience with hearing the word "quantum" was in 1991.  Someone invited me to attend an all-day program with Susan Jeffers, Bernie Segal, Deepak Chopra, and Wayne Dyer.  At the time I hadn't heard of any of these people, but attending the conference seemed better than sitting behind my desk all day so off I went.

I found the speakers motivating to be sure, and obviously something inside myself was ready to awaken, otherwise I would have preferred sitting behind my desk that day.  Deepak Chopra was the third presenter, and he began by talking about something called "quantum healing."  My reaction was something greater than bells and whistles and short of a major nuclear explosion going off inside myself.  I began to sob those embarrassing, uncontrollable kinds of sobs that sound more a wailing fox.  If you have ever heard a wailing fox you would know it is not a pretty sound.  The longer he spoke, the greater the dam opened and the tears streamed.  I woke up inside.  My relationship with the quantum began.

I can't explain this relationship through my experience as a quantum physicist.  I have none.  I can only share what has been my 20+ years of practical and heuristic study.  I continue to posit my assertions as I wander, wonder, integrate, explore, and awaken within quantum consciousness.

Someone once told me they loved taking my classes on quantum consciousness because I explained the topic in a simple way they could understand. Simple understanding equates to simple explanation.  However, simple doesn't mean easy.  And this is where I focus and where the mastery occurs.  Not my mastery, but your mastery.  Awakening to your quantum self is a next evolutionary step, a step I believe we are now taking.

Newtonian physics would have us believe our world is only what we see, not because science wishes to limit its perspective, but it  has worked hard to explain the world we see in front of our eyes.  Good job.  We are limited by the science of our times, and now quantum science is taking us into a new world.  A world which exists at the level behind our eyes.  A reality which has been deemed to be non-ordinary but is probably more real than one to which we currently subscribe.   It is a field comprised of the smallest of particles, appearing to have a mind of their own.  It is the world behind the world.

You must acknowledge, accept, and eventually integrate the knowing that there is world behind the world, and a world behind what you see as you. This is where you start. 

The Matrix Magic Playbook speaks to you in that world.  As you play in the book, greater awareness about yourself will occur and your quantum self will naturally respond to the truth of you.  The shifts and changes within will happen so quickly you will feel they occurred as if by magic.

Play with Matrices #11, #27, #32, #14, #9.










Sunday, May 12, 2013

Awaken Your Quantum Consciousness

There continue to be reports of elephants being killed.  Recently I read more accounts from the BBC.  Additionally the BBC reports today that more than half of the common plant species and a third of animals could see a serious decline in their habitat range because of climate change.  New research suggests that biodiversity around the world will be significantly impacted if temperatures rise more than 2C. Nature Climate Change recently published a paper on the subject.  The report goes on to say that if greenhouse gasses are cut rapidly then the impact on biodiversity could be significantly curbed.  

Elephant killings, habitat loss, globing warming...Our human impact is immense.  We are impacting our environment in a way that is creating decline outside the normal laws of entropy.   But we also can have impact in the direction towards positive change.   We can exponentially change things if we learn how to  engage at the quantum level of life and direct our energies out into the world from a balanced center of self.

A physicist once told me that without the quantum, nothing else would exist.   If we focus on our quantum selves through our meditations, prayers, and centering practices and then take action in sustainable directions we can and will create the world in which we wish to live.  That is a promise.  We are the promise we have been waiting for.

Living life awake and aware of the quantum world and making the choice for altruistic outcome will exponentially change life on earth.  Begin with yourself.  Wake up to yourself and awaken your quantum consciousness.

Play with matrices #10, #17, #30, #14, #11, #25, #33

Monday, May 6, 2013

Does Life Get Any Easier as You Progress on the Spiritual Path - Conscious Response


Recently I was asked the question about whether or not traveling the spiritual path of  life becomes easier the farther we progress in the journey.  This is a commonly asked question because we want things to be easy.  But easy is a human fabrication, and not a question of concern to the spirit.  

There are many reasons people turn to the path of spiritual growth. Many do so because life is not easy or something was falling apart or was not working as well as we would wish.  Problems are actually stepping stones into a bigger "us."   The inner nudging from our soul sometimes turn into a crash that takes us to the bottom of the barrel before we are willing to listen.  Something has to get our attention.

I wouldn't say that the activities in life become easier necessarily, but I would say that what does become easier is the ability to be consistently grounded in our spiritual center.   External circumstances do not have the same effect, and we see things through a different lens.  Not a lens of indifference, but a lens solidly grounded in the trust or the knowing of a bigger picture.

A grounded center of being conflicts with our creating trauma drama, therefore the superfluous constructs of these activities do diminish as one grows spiritually.  A peaceful co-existence with self is established and is reflected out into the world around us.  Peace feels quiet and humans tend to interchange the words "peace" and "boredom." 

The human psyche isn't accustomed to peace as a way of being and will try over and over again to create drama as the greater self gravitates to peace.  It is important to remain vigilant about not falling prey to what the ego tries to construct.  We must constantly choose to align not with the mechanistic actions of ego, but with the energetics of a more favorable choice.  

We are not immune from the day-to-day business of paying the bills, facing challenging health crises, sitting next to a troubled friend, etc. but it is possible to live in a state of equanimity and balance when responding to daily life occurrences.  In fact, the responsibility (RESPONSE ABILITY) to do so becomes greater.  As we become more consciously awake and grounded in our divine self, our capacity for clarity increases and we become aware of other's misconstructions.  No longer do we have the luxury of the slippery slope of judgement.  Rather we must live in "conscious response."

To the buddhist the ability for conscious response is grounded in  "detachment" with "compassion."  To the Christian it is grounded in "love." To the Lakota Sioux it is grounded in "the wisdom of wakan tanka."   To the Sufi it is grounded in "purity and adaptability."  To the Kabbalist is is grounded in the tree of life."  And on it goes.

To me conscious response is heaven on earth, and if the plan is to spiritually progress to the greatest extent of our human capacity we must forget the lofty new-age notion of "enlightenment" and aim towards "en-earthenment," or being the best we can be while on earth.  

Kindness goes along way towards this.

Play with Matrix #20.

Hello Okmulgee Playgroup



Hello to my Okmulgee friends from Oklahoma and Arkansas!


I love this picture I took in the Okmulgee State park.  It represents to me stepping up into the quantum mystery and magic of life.  The steps we took together when recently I facilitated a Matrix Magic Playgroup near Okmulgee Oklahoma. I was so inspired to meet new friends and to see the light that is being shared through each individual's work and interests.  Thanks to you all for being my teacher!   Our diverse group of gifted people shared a day of fun, laughter, food, and exploration into the deeper quantum self and matrix magic.  We played in the Matrix of "Kindness" and the next day I felt the energy of kindness washing through me like a gentle rain of blessing.  Blissed out!

Suggestions for the Okmulgee group:


I encourage this Playgroup to post  your experiences of the day in this blog and start a dialogue of blog posts to communicate with each other as you continue to deepen your experience with Matrix Magic Playbook within the quiet of your home.   Your comments, reflections, and sharing will help each other as a group and everyone else who views the blog site.

 Additionally I recommend you continue meeting as a group to play with the Matrix Magic Playbook in the company of others as group experience exponentially favors your personal growth.  Allow yourself to continue to explore the magic of  the quantum field and make a difference to all of life around you.

I love you all, and I thank you for allowing me to facilitate the group.

A bit about Okmulgee Oklahoma   

Okmulgee was founded in 1868, when the Creek National began restoring order after the Civil War.  The Creeks initially built a two-story log council house, open to tours, to serve as their capital.  The original building burned in 1878 and was replaced with the stone building that stands today.   The St. Louis, Oklahoma and Southern Railway arrived in 1900 and triggered a building boom.  By the time of statehood in 1907, the town had 2,322 residents.  The discovery of oil nearby in 1907 further expanded Okmulgee and brought new industries.  Okmulgee means "boiling waters: in the Creek language.  The population is around 13,000 and is notable as the seat of the Muscogee (Creek) Nation Tribal Complex.


A few miles away resides the Okmulgee State Park where my body, mind, and spirit rejoiced being in this incredible environment. Here are some pictures:





Reluctantly I leave the area only to look forward to returning sometime down the road.  Onward I go to my next stop and experience, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for others to follow.




Friday, April 26, 2013

Start Your Matrix Magic Playgroup

Working in a group with the playbook will provide exponential impact to your process.  You can progress much faster with the power of a group.

I recommend you consider starting your own group.  It is easy and fun. The playbook contains a detailed description of how to start a group.

The multiplier of group energetics while working a spiritual inquiry process will catapult you into your starself.

Go for it!


Your Personal Transformation

This is a friendly reminder to open your Playbook and delve more deeply into yourself by working with the Matrices.  You will be amazed what magic can happen as more of yourself is revealed.  Now is the time, don't be shy.

If you haven't caught up with playing with the recommendations in prior blogposts, I suggest you go back and read the posts, then begin with the suggested matrices.

As you have seen, 2013 has been filled with personal and global challenges.  It is highly unlikely that these will diminish as we go forward.  The best way to be prepared is to be as resolved with your issues as you can be and this takes effort and intention.  Coming to resolution as unconscious material moves from the background to the foreground need not be a tedious process.  Maintaining a spirit of play by not taking ourselves too seriously is key.

In order to meet future challenges we must do our personal healing, and practice each and every day to be the best human we can be.  BE.

We tend to fall into habit patterns that lull us to sleep.  Rock-a-bye baby......

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Original Play as a Sacred Practice - Awaken the Spirit of Play Within

Playing by Heart: The Vision and Practice of Belonging

 "Play is when you don't know you are different from another."

                              Fred Donaldson

Over the months of creating Matrix Magic Playbook, I realized that one of the most fundamental,  transformational aspects of  playing with the book would be to engage with it in the spirit of play. Play opens our hearts, connects us with our true self and the greater whole.  The spirit of play is alive, but we have forgotten how to engage it.

I remember how, as a child, I spent hours in nature, running barefoot, climbing trees, digging in the dirt.  The outdoors was my best playmate.  This playmate didn't judge, it was always there for me, it made me feel safe, and with it I could share all my secrets and cry all my tears. Play in nature connected me to myself and to something greater. It was truly my greatest and best childhood friend and ally.

Somewhere along the way, I forgot how to play.  I became lost in the concrete jungle and began taking myself way too seriously.  Play gave way to making my way in the world according to cultural convention.  I became disconnected.

Essential to our spiritual growth and new earth manifestation is  our re-connection to play.  When we were children we didn't go out to play and plan to be transformed, uplifted, or healed.  It just happened.  Play is truly a part of our natural state and it is time we turn around, lighten up, and allow the spirit of play to awaken within us.  Let's ride on the magic carpet of  re-discovering how to play

 I would like to introduce you to Fred Donaldson.  About Fred Donaldson  and his play.

Original Play Northwest

Friday, February 22, 2013

Your Life is Sacred - Learn to Grieve the Loss of What is Untrue About Yourself

In order to make real spiritual progress, you must know that your life is sacred.  Not just believe it, but know it.  Knowing is a felt experience without waver.  The word "sacred" comes from the Latin sacrum, which referred to the gods or anything in their power, and to sacerdos priest; sanctum set apart.  It generally referred to a spatial concept referring to the area around a temple.  Language locks ideas into our  psyche.  The definition of "sacred" automatically separates us.  It makes "sacred" something outside ourselves.  This couldn't be further from the trust.  This is the truth. (figure that one out)

I prefer to use "sacred" and "holy" synonymously and relate them to our authentic state.  We all are sacred (special)  and holy (whole) beings in a continuous ebb and flow.  The English word "holy" dates back to the 11th century with the Old English word halig, an adjective derived from hal meaning "whole" and used to mean "uninjured, sound, healthy, entire, complete."  I am not too sure we are ever complete, but rather perhaps we are a truly beautiful work in process.  If not this, then what is the point?   To me it seems we are an ever expanding and contracting process of the Divine.

What separates us from the knowing that we all are sacred, holy beings is the ego.  We have contrived many stories about ourselves, few of which have anything to do with the truth of who we are.  We must trust our lives enough to have the courage to let go of our old stories to allow the truth to emerge.

Letting go of our stories means we will feel loss. The loss of the lies about ourselves must occur to enable our connection back to our sacred state.   When we begin to touch into our truth, the old stories melt away.  We experience this melting as a "death" of sorts and our "grief reflex" engages.

At this point, we may go into a healthy grief process, or we may feel fear and stop ourselves. In order to experience a healthy relationship with loss and letting go, we need to be able to be open to feeling our grief.  That's a difficult one for most people, yet it is an important ability to foster in our enlightening process.

Make grief your friend and ally.  Hone your ability to grieve well.  Trust not fear is what is needed to forge ahead.

Click here:

Play with Matrix #32